Sunday, January 22, 2012

Tastes like chicken

I, Ofnewt, take you, frog

The toadlike Newt Gingrich has been refreshingly open about his reasons for abandoning Wife No. 1:
You know and I know that she’s not young enough or pretty enough to be the wife of a president.
Like other right-wing epitomes of perfect manhood, Gingrich feels that it is all right to engage in a bit of “lookism.” As we all know, a woman's true value can be discerned by a cursory inspection of her exterior. By his lights, therefore, the former Speaker of the House was doing exactly the right thing when he eventually recruited the blonde and plastic Callista as First-Lady-in-waiting. Newt and his third wife have been buffed up to a high gloss as representatives of faithful till-death-do-us-part Catholic marriage. Now that Gingrich has rolled up a stunning victory in South Carolina's primary election, the probability of his eventually becoming president has risen to something slightly above zero. It could happen.

In that case, we should take more seriously Callista's qualifications to be First Lady—relative, of course, to Newt's superficial measuring stick. This is Callista:

This is Mark McKinney of The Kids in the Hall as Chicken Lady:

I'm sure we'd all have a lot more fun with Mark McKinney in feathered drag in the White House, but—frankly—I'd have to call it a tie.


Mozglubov said...

Although I completely agree with the sentiment of your piece (that Newt Gingrich is a sleazy and hypocritical man), the quotation that you attribute to him was actually about his first wife according to the article you link to.

Zeno said...

Thanks, Mozglubov. All fixed now. That'll teach me to write posts after midnight.

Karen said...

So, does this all mean that if Gingrich gets his party's nomination, and the press then do the familiar rip-apart of the potential first lady, that he will trade in Callista on a younger, prettier wife?

The Ridger, FCD said...

I just got a thing from a friend, Newt, captioned: Family Values: using daughters from your first wife to convince everyone that your second wife is lying about your third wife

Kinda says it all, doesn't it?

Jens Knudsen (Sili) said...

A tie?

I don't know Chicken Lady, but at least she doesn't scare the bejeezes outta me.

RBH said...

This raises the question of whether George H. W. Bush (King George the First) failed to be re-elected because Barbara didn't look like Callista.