Monday, August 09, 2010

Motes and beams: Gingrich on Catholic television

Whore & whoremonger

Former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich was kind enough to tape an endorsement in 2008 for Proposition 8, the ballot initiative that placed a ban on same-sex marriage in the California state constitution. He used the cant language of “protecting marriage” and declared, “I can't overstate the dangers of tyranny from elitist judges who believe they have the right and the power to dictate their values to the American people.”

It's good to know that Newt is firmly in favor of “values,” but one wonders just what those “values” might be.

One can derive a clue from Gingrich's appearance last April 30 on “The World Over,” a public affairs and news program from EWTN, the Catholic broadcasting network. While Raymond Arroyo, the program's earnest and epicene host, fawned over them, Newt and his third wife promoted their documentary on John Paul II and spoke humbly about Newt's conversion to Catholicism.

Callista Gingrich, who was Newt's mistress during his second marriage, is a devout Catholic and church choir member who seduced the former House speaker into Rome's arms. I presume this must be one of those “situational ethics” affairs where little sins can be forgiven in the achievement of a noble goal.

“Callista is very, very faithful,” said Newt to Arroyo, giving his former mistress credit for his conversion. (He says this at 14:18 in the video below.)

Faithful? Then I must presume she obtained some kind of fornication dispensation from her local priest. Otherwise Callista would have been committing mortal sins on a regular basis, even if each occasion of sin was very brief.

Newt Gingrich is quite angry about Judge Walker's ruling that Proposition 8 is unconstitutional. He cherishes the sacred institution of marriage and characterizes Walker's decision as a grievous affront to those Americans who have “affirmed that marriage is the union of one man and one woman.” Just to be clear, since Newt did not expand on this point: While a man might seek after multiple women, he should be married to only one at a time. The others have to be mistresses—at least until it's their turn to be the wife. (Keep looking over your shoulder, Callista!)

It's God's sacred plan.


John Armstrong said...

Veiled allegations of performance problems? Stay classy, Zeno; you're better than that.

AnyEdge said...

My marriage was the union of one man and one woman, and it sucked. Frankly, the idea of marrying a guy totally appeals to me: I'd have had some help mowing the lawn and putting up the backsplash this weekend.

Zeno said...

You caught me, John. I was working on a line about how the fornication might have been a venial sin instead of a mortal sin. Mea culpa.

(But at least it was veiled.)

Gene said...

Newt and his belief in the joy and sanctity of marriage is proven by his track record. Reminds me of what W.C. Fields said about quitting drinking, "It's easy, I've done it a thousand times." Newt just keeps proving his devotion to marriage, time after time after time.

He's what we might call a "serial polygamist", having multiple wives, but just one at a time.

Taz said...

John Armstrong is right. You shouldn't cast veiled aspersions on the slimy, dishonest, piece of shit hypocrite named Newt Gringrich.

Jamie said...

There's actually a biological term for what we humans do, and it's "serial monogamy" we're only monogamous for a period of time, not for life, but I guess Gingrich can't be counted as either. (Btw, you guys might already know that chimps are promiscuous, so I think it's safe to assume that we were ancestrally promiscuous too.)