Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Hey, Idiot! Buy this!

Selling to sociopaths
It's a problem as old as gaming itself. Stay home and just keep playing, or get to work on time so that your coffee-breath boss doesn't ride you like a rented scooter. Who says you have to choose? Your PS/3 stays at home, but the game goes with you. Never stop playing. PlayStation Vita.
Have you seen the charming advertisement? Do you identify with the tragic sufferings of the poor gameplayer who has to decide between soothing recreation and gainful employment? Do you rejoice upon learning of Sony's brilliant solution to the dilemma? With a PlayStation Vita you can keep playing anywhere, even as you're strolling to work! Even as you cross busy intersections with never a care about speeding traffic! Even at your desk after you survive the trip to the office!

No doubt many hot tears of relief and gratitude were spilled when Sony unveiled its “Never stop playing” commercial. Anyone who was in fear of actually getting a life was now miraculously granted a new lease on irrelevance.

But perhaps I overstate the case. Surely you might still be considered relevant by the survivors of the victims of the multi-vehicle pileup at the intersection where you stepped off the curb without looking. These things happen. Hope you didn't lose your place in your game!

Anyway, there are more direct ways to hurt people than stepping into their path. You could get instead. It has an even more devil-may-care approach to the welfare of the unfortunate citizens of reality. With and a smart phone or other portable video device, you can watch commercial-laden movies for free whenever you want. Even while riding a bicycle! As the commercial demonstrates, you can happily bike through the middle of a picnic or outdoor wedding ceremony while your attention is riveted to the screen. Not even nirvana could be better than this! Besides, those people in the park were just being stupid when they failed to take into account the possibility of bike riders under the influence of Crackle. I mean, it's like all their fault!

Crackle marketing has yet to upload the ad celebrating the destruction of a picnic and disruption of a wedding, but an earlier promo spot is just as true to the theme. With on a portable video device, you can conveniently destroy your neighborhood from the comfort of your riding lawnmower. Now who wouldn't want to do that!?

Oh, right. Sane people.


The Ridger, FCD said...

A certain demographic always has responded to such ads - must have, right? I mean the ads keep getting made.

Remember the ads telling you to drive outside the lines? Or encouraging SUV owners to believe themselves the only ones on the roads?

Anonymous said...

Well, is owned by Sony Pictures Entertainment, so the similar marketing may not just be coincidence.

Lee said...

Grampa Zeno, you're complaining about things nobody takes seriously. The advertisers are well aware that no one is actually going to watch the ad and think 'hey walking through traffic looks radical (or awesome or whatever adjective is doing the rounds lately)!'

They are simply intentionally farcical in order to obtain 'laughter' or maybe just plain old attention. I'm currently bracing myself just in case you dredge up the old 'violent games desensitise people to violence' card, that one-


(I jest, except about the 'desensitising' card. That one bugs me.)