Friday, September 14, 2007

Tomorrow belongs to me

They grow up so fast

My in-box contained a new message from my friend PiD:
With 20 minutes to kill, I thought I’d look up our good friend Josiah. I found this on his blog. Pretty scary, no?
My curiosity was piqued, so I followed the provided link to R. Josiah Magnuson's thrilling announcement concerning the Young Christian Leaders' Alliance. The YCLA doesn't have a theme song by the Village People yet, but PiD is right about it being just a little scary (with maybe just a touch of déjà vu).

Josiah is the diligent young creationist who likes to smite godless evolutionists and has twice won runner-up honors in the Answers in Genesis essay contest. He dallied with the quixotic presidential campaign of right-wing nut-case Gene Chapman, serving as the candidate's Intelligent Design advisor until Chapman dropped out. (Did you even know he was ever in?) Undeterred by the Chapman fiasco, Josiah has moved on to new political endeavors, including promulgating a new constitution for the YCLA. The signing ceremony on September 8 was a solemn occasion.
Upon putting down my signature for the Constitution, I got a peculiar feeling—like I was going to throw up, or cry for joy, or scream, or something like that. Whatever. No, though, I didn't do any of those. However, my face in the picture shows my feeling, if you can see it:

In the grand tradition of paramilitary organizations, brown-shirted Josiah was accompanied by an armed honor guard. (The boys with the guns dug out their khakis, but apparently didn't have the right shirts to complete the earth-tone ensemble.)

And, of course, there was a flag-bearer.

Josiah provides a convenient summary of the doctrines that lie at the core of the YCLA constitution:
1. God’s Words are pure; KJV is the most accurate version. 2. The Members of the Trinity are distinct but act totally harmoniously. 3. Creation was by direct act of God. 4. Man is equal in humanity, responsibility, and rights. 5. Authorities are to be respected; must be obeyed when commands do not violate Scripture. 6. Individuals are naturally free to make decisions over their own consciences. 7. Death and suffering came by sin. 8. Man must have faith in Christ and His atonement to be saved from sin. 9. Baptism is correct and is by immersion. 10. Heaven and Hell are literal. 11. Christ will bodily return to Earth.
As anyone could clearly see, these doctrines ineluctably lead to some practical philosophical principles:
God the Creator has established unchangeable Laws for the universe. The Law for man is found in the Bible. Disobedience of God’s Law is sin. Because the first man, Adam, sinned, everyone has inherited the same disposition. The only way to be freed, and escape sin’s punishment (death), is to trust in Christ who died in place of us. Christ also rose again, went to Heaven, and will one day return to decimate His enemies. Until then, believers should continue to grow in their faith, and endeavor to maintain health and fitness so they can best serve God and proclaim His Truth. They should also strive to be humble, merciful, just, and loving towards those around them. Finally, they should work against the evil schemes of Satan, especially those perpetrated by apostate “churches” such as that of Catholicism, and ideas of secular Evolutionary society such as that of socialism.
Oh, oh. I think the YCLA is not well-disposed toward me. I'm definitely part of “secular Evolutionary society” and I support universal health care and public education, which I think makes me a socialist. I probably won't get any credit for having abandoned the Catholic church (although it's amusing to see the oldest form of Christianity described as “apostate”).

You know, that's probably enough time spent browsing around on Josiah's YCLA blog. If it gets more interesting, I'm sure PiD will tip me off.


Anonymous said...

What is it about the KJV that has such a freakish hold on the minds of creationists/fundamentalists? Seriously, I don't get it.

Anonymous said...

A literal heaven and hell, eh?

I wish I could remember who I first heard say "Sir, I believe your beliefs are thermodynamically untenable!"

John Morales said...

"They should also strive to be humble, merciful, just, and loving towards those around them"

If only they'd damn well practice what they preach!


Ben D said...

The Members of the Trinity are distinct but act totally harmoniously.

Is that not Arianism? Burn the heretic!

Anonymous said...

"ideas of secular Evolutionary society such as that of socialism"


As timpanogos, observed:
"What is the hallmark of Darwinian evolution theory? That’s right: Competition."

Anonymous said...

To 9:06 Anonymous... I've often wondered that myself, and the only thing I've ever been able to come up with is that it's the one that's filled up with "thous" and "thines" and the like. The "New International Version" and similar ones use modern English, so the bullshit isn't dressed up with the Shakespearean-ish veneer. I'm sure there's some more technical reason that the theologians would point to, but to the average fundie, I think it really is just that they think saying "thou art" is closer to God's voice than "you are" and makes them feel and look more religious. These are people who hold the appearance of piety above all else, after all.

Lippard said...

Here's something I put together quite some time ago that looks at the arguments for KJV-only (and debunks them).

Anonymous said...

"The Members of the Trinity are distinct but act totally harmoniously."

Is that not Arianism? Burn the heretic!

It's not Arianism as long as the Son is not inferior to the Father and has not been created.

John McKay said...

5. Authorities are to be respected; must be obeyed when commands do not violate Scripture.

The authorities of grammar apparently are not covered by this as is evidenced by that semi-colon. I suppose when president Hillary sends the Democratic stormtroopers to confiscate his Bible, he will meekly comply. After all, no where in the Bible does it say you must have a Bible. Also, I hope his brownshirt isn't made of mixed fibers. As a Southerner, I'm sure he never eats pork or shrimp, so we don't need to worry about those sins.

Danny Boy, FCD said...

Probably because most of the main protestant sects' doctrines were formulated by their leaders/founders using the KJV. Some modern translations weaken these doctrines, so the devout insist that the KJV is the only good translation.

Anonymous said...

Where's the link to the real thing for comparison?

Anonymous said...

Ha ha! He's what I imagine a young Bill Dembski would be like. Quick, somebody teach him about the bac flag!

Ian said...

Regarding the KJV (at all, let alone only)...maybe someone needs to send him a copy of Bart Ehrman's "Misquoting Jesus". The KJV is based on Erasmus's bible, which apparently included material which Erasmus knew to be forged (in essence, he was outwitted by the Catholic Church), and when he couldn't find a Greek manuscript for Revelation, he ended up back-translating one from Latin to Greek.

An ardent anti-Catholic should never trust the KJV.

Kseniya said...

Oh come on now. Everybody knows that Eastern Orthodoxy is the purest form of Christianity. The doctrines and excesses of the "oldest form" are, in sum, a base heresy.

And the KJV is the "right" one because Jesus wrote it himself! What part of "King Jesus Version" don't you people understand? Sheesh.

Of course, it could also be because it is (as others have pointed out) that this superficially pious-sounding and comfortably familiar corruption the source material is widely used as the primary article of indoctrination in the English-speaking world...

This kid scares me. Grassroots movements fuel revolutions. Why is this happening?? Has democratic, secular society in the USA been doomed evere since the spread of fundamentalism across the frontier in the 19th century?

Anonymous said...

Aww, baby Nazis.
How cute.
This kid's parents better have lots of insurance. He might want to re-enact the Reichstag fire.

Anonymous said...

That other flag behind him in the photo, the one with the single white star on the blue field, is the Bonnie Blue Flag (see Wikipedia). This was an unofficial flag of the confederacy, and is used today by neo-confederates as a subtle shout-out to each other.

Anonymous said...

5. Authorities are to be respected; must be obeyed when commands do not violate Scripture. 6. Individuals are naturally free to make decisions over their own consciences.

5. You must do what others tell you, even if it is wrong.
6. You must do what you think is actually right.

Therefore you must do what is and is not right.
Contradiction, therefore god does not exist?

Anonymous said...

Where did you get the Nazi stuff!
I visted there website and talked with them and there not Nazis!

Anonymous said...

Zeno dude, chill. You're nuts man. The YCLA, they ain't Nazis and you ain't got a brain!
So long,
Joe P. C.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.