Tuesday, May 03, 2011

America's Next Top Target

Who is #1?

Now that Osama bin Laden has been gaffed and tossed overboard, one naturally wonders where America's counter-terrorism efforts will strike next. Attentive students of the nation's foreign policy probably have a pretty good idea. With al-Qaeda's top man out of the picture, it's time to focus on #2.

It's probably Bert, whose evil association with bin Laden has been common knowledge for years. I know that lots of people think the “Bert is evil” meme is just an Internet joke that got out of hand, but serious thinkers know better. Any half-assed conspiracy theorist (I apologize for the redundancy there) is aware that al-Qaeda supporters would not brandish posters of Bert at their rallies if he were not affiliated with the terrorist organization. It's almost certain that he's in the leadership, because no one would bother to celebrate a mere foot soldier in the jihadist cause.


It's only a matter of time before the deep thinkers of Free Republic and Atlas Shrugs have worked out Bert's position in the al-Qaeda hierarchy. I am confident that soon we will receive messages from the newly-anointed leader via his preferred media conduits (by which I obviously mean PBS and the Children's Television Workshop, whose unremitting efforts to undermine true-blue, red-blooded Americanism cannot be denied).

And then, of course, we might turn our thoughts toward the next puzzle....

Just what is Ernie's role in all of this?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Bert represents the Muslim agenda and Ernie the gay agenda. Did you miss the conspiracy theory that the two agendas were in cahoots?