Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Countdown to freedom

My BFF Laura

I don't know if the president is aware of this, but the First Lady has written to me again. This week she wants to offer me a special 2008 calendar.
As a strong supporter of our President and our Party, I wanted to make sure you had the first opportunity to have an official 2008 RNC calendar featuring President Bush.
At first, I thought she was referring to me as a “strong supporter of our President.” Given my actual opinion of the man in the White House, this would present an awkward situation. Upon reflection, however, I was relieved to note that a former teacher and librarian like Laura would never misplace a modifier. The opening clause clearly refers to her: “As a strong supporter of our President and our Party, I wanted to make sure...” See? Now it makes sense! As an enthusiastic supporter of her spouse, the First Lady is reaching out to the belligerently disaffected. To consider me a stalwart Bush backer would imply that Laura is as stupid and misinformed as her husband, which seems all but impossible.

Besides, I've never been a member of what the First Lady refers to as “our Party.”

In any case, Laura is really missing a good bet with her offer of a 2008 calendar. If it only had a nice countdown feature (“Only xxx days remaining in the Bush administration”), the RNC calendar would appeal to approximately two-thirds of the American electorate. (Is it January 20, 2009, yet?)


Damn! I just noticed that Laura is also sending her billets doux to other people, not just me! Outrageous!

And I thought we had something special, just the two of us.

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