You read it here first!
The pundits have tossed their yarrow sticks, poked through their chicken guts, spied on the flight paths of migrating birds, scried their crystal orbs, laid out their Tarot cards, examined the dregs in their teacups, and cast a multitude of horoscopes. The portents are unmistakable: Barack Obama's running mate will be Sebelius, Biden, Kaine, Bayh, Gore, Clark, Clinton, or someone else entirely. This is the solid and irrefutable conclusion of the various mantic arts, and who are we to scoff at the occult sciences of political prognostication?
I, too, have been watching the harbingers, omens, and signs. The ineluctable conclusion is ... I haven't the faintest idea who Sen. Obama is going to choose. You got that? I don't know. And you don't either, unless you're in the innermost Obama circle (in which case you can leave the running mate's name in a comment—thanks!).
But if we wait for a while, he's sure to tell us. Anyone think of just waiting till then? Please resume normal rate of respiration.