He calls me “uncle,” so I call him “nephew.” He currently lives on the East Coast, so it's been quite a while since I've seen him or his father (who many years ago was a student of mine). In need of some information, I dropped the boy a note via e-mail:
From: Zeno FeroxIan is not normally a prompt correspondent, but my missive evidently touched a responsive chord. A reply was soon in my in-box:
To: Ian Rhys
Sent: Fri, July 9, 2010 8:44:56 PM
Subject: Birthday gift list
Hi, Ian. I know someone who is turning 11 years old next month and I was wondering what a good birthday present would be. If you were choosing a nice gift for an 11-year-old boy, what do you think he might like?
I welcome your suggestions, as I regard you as an expert in this field.
Love,
Uncle Zeno
Date: Sat, 10 Jul 2010 05:44:58 -0700 (PDT)Ian has rather creative spelling, but his response was an entirely reasonable one. I hastened to provide the requested information on the birthday boy's “charechtoristics”:
From: Ian Rhys
Subject: Re: Birthday gift list
To: Zeno Ferox
Well I actually think it depends on what the boy's charechtoristics are. E-mail me his charechtoristics. okay?
From: Zeno FeroxDespite the paucity of specifics in my message, it was apparently enough to inspire some recommendations from my consultant:
To: Ian Rhys
Sent: Sat, July 10, 2010 9:48:58 AM
Subject: Re: Birthday gift list
Good point, Ian. Unfortunately, I haven't seen the boy in question in quite a while, so I'll have to go from memory. I seem to recall that he was very smart. He was interested in lots of different things and very good at reading and math. Good sense of humor, too.
I realize that's not very specific, but perhaps that's enough for you to work with. Any ideas?
Uncle Zeno
Date: Sat, 10 Jul 2010 15:21:04 -0700 (PDT)This was exceedingly helpful, but now it was my turn to ask for some characteristics:
From: Ian Rhys
Subject: Re: Birthday gift list
To: Zeno Ferox
Well if hes smart I guess he might like these items:
Redwall: Bellmaker
Redwall: Outcast
Monopoly
Star wars Lego set
I think any of these would work for a boy like that.
Tell me if you think he will like one of these.........
- Ian
From: Zeno FeroxHe was clearly poised to answer. I soon had the specifics I had requested:
To: Ian Rhys
Sent: Sat, July 10, 2010 6:36:03 PM
Subject: Re: Birthday gift list
Why, yes, as a matter of fact. I think he might like all of the items you mentioned. Of course, if I were to choose to give him a Star Wars Lego set I would have the difficulty of picking which one to send him. There are many, many choices. Perhaps an intelligent young man such as yourself might offer me some additional guidance?
Cheers!
Uncle Zeno
Date: Sat, 10 Jul 2010 15:43:43 -0700 (PDT)He seems to have no doubt in the matter (even if he's concerned that doddering old Uncle Zeno might forget the details). Who am I to question his judgment concerning the birthday presents currently favored by 11-year-old boys? I dispatched a note of thanks:
From: Ian Rhys
Subject: Re: Birthday gift list
To: Zeno Ferox
this is the full name that I found for it:
LEGO 8086 Star Wars Trifighter Droid
I think he will like this one...
If you cant remember the name then print it out and bring it to the store
A good store would be toys are us or a lego store, oh and wallmart maybe..
If its too much just get any type of star wars lego set.
He will like it..
- Ian
From: Zeno FeroxYou will appreciate how cleverly I have outsmarted the little rascal and gotten so much information out of him. Ian sure is going to be surprised when he receives a Star Wars Droid Tri-Fighter Lego set and a couple of Redwall books for his 11th birthday from his sly Uncle Zeno.
To: Ian Rhys
Sent: Sat, July 10, 2010 9:20:39 PM
Subject: Re: Birthday gift list
I consider your advice definitive in this matter and am confident that you are correct about the birthday boy's appreciation of the gift. Thank you exceedingly for your kind counsel.
Lots of love from your Uncle Zeno
Posts
6 comments:
Unless of course the reason for his confidence is that he already has them...
You are (not surprisingly) better at dealing with 11-year-olds than I would be.
I'd not've been able to resist the urge to use "characteristics" in a sentence somewhere.
Which is all the more embarrassing since I'm much in favour of a bottom-up spelling reform.
Redwall? The boy has excellent taste. Good childhood memories, there...
Alas, it won't work next year, Zeno. Or else he'll figure it out and play along, in which case it won't be a surprise. But kudos for getting it sorted out for at least one year.
I never could shop successfully for nieces and nephews in that age range, at least until they got smart and started keeping wishlists on Amazon.com. Now, at least if I'm getting a duplicate of the Right Thing, Mom and Dad can return it for the next best Right Thing. And I don't have to suffer the embarrassment of being an out-of-it aunt and getting the Wrong Thing.
I don't expect him to be surprised at all. I'm fairly certain he was happily feeding me his wish list in the expectation that I would follow his lead and give him exactly what he wants for his birthday. He's a clever boy who was playing along.
Redwall? Blimey, I used to read that when I was about 8 or so; I can't believe that it's still around and still liked by kids.
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