Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Scary times for the GOP

Elephants stampede in terror!

The Republican National Committee is running a little contest. It sent out an e-mail this week encouraging people to log on to gop.com to cast a vote for the “scariest Democrat.” One must admire the blithe lack of embarrassment as the GOP mocks the Democratic candidates for president. Haven't they noticed that Tom Tancredo is running for their nomination? Or Rudy Giuliani? It's a remarkably sorry crew on the Republican side.


So, what do you see if you click on the link to the GOP's crude (and noisy) website? Such a surprise! The scariest Democrat—by a huge 91% romp—is Hillary Clinton! Did you know it would turn out that way? (I'll bet you did!)


The more conspiracy-minded among us tend to think that the Republicans keep hammering away at Sen. Clinton because they want the Democrats to nominate her. You see, they're licking their chops at the prospect of going after her in a general election. After all, doesn't everyone know that she carries more baggage than other Democrats and is sure to lose? (Except, however, that she keeps winning.)

Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn whether the Republicans really fear her or are merely pretending to do so. (There are probably plenty of Republicans who aren't sure themselves.) As a red-meat liberal myself, I would frankly enjoy it more if Hillary ripped open some Republican bellies and devoured their cirrhosis-ridden livers. She's been playing it safe and hovering in the political midst of the pack, but who can say it hasn't been enormously successful to date? She's already withstood more than fifteen years of unremitting and nasty personal attacks. Republicans must fear deep in their withered hearts that she can endure their worst. Perhaps they have overplayed their hand, working so hard to demonize the junior senator from New York that people are surprised and relieved when they see her on the campaign trail: She doesn't actually have horns and a tail. Why, she seems like regular folks!

Let the GOP caper about and make their merry Halloween jokes. They may as well enjoy themselves while waiting for their richly-deserved doom to come upon them.

3 comments:

Courtney said...

"The scariest Democrat—by a huge 91% romp—is Hillary Clinton! Did you know it would turn out that way? (I'll bet you did!)"

Yes I did! Because nothing is scarier than the daunting realization that our country just might elect someone with a vagina. I know, crazy.

Anonymous said...

If Republicans are too scared to stand up to Hillary Clinton, how can they stand up to Osama bin Laden?

Buncha sissies!

Paul said...

I'd be lot happier if the Dems didn't have a history of screwing up despite the odds in their favor.