Sunday, April 22, 2007

No Damned Parking!

The use of reading skills in our society

As an extremely superior individual, I am naturally irritated that I am not exempt from all of the petty little rules that apply to the population at large. Not being a sociopath, however, I understand that it would be disruptive if I were to insist on the privileges that should be my natural due. Imagine, therefore, how irked I become when less sensitive (and undoubtedly less qualified) people casually arrogate to themselves this superior status—and then act on it.

Yesterday I was drove to the drug store to pick up a prescription. I followed a large van into the parking lot. Other vehicles were behind me. The van drove slowly down the lane in front of the drug store. And stopped. Right in the lane. The curb was painted red and clearly marked “Fire Lane. Do Not Block.” I knew right away what was going on (the driver was dropping off someone who would dash inside and take “just a second”), but I did not swing around the van. I sat there, willing the driver to wake up and move. (Yeah, like that really works.) She finally noticed that she had a caravan behind her and stuck her hand out the driver's side window, motioning me to pass her. I ignored her for a while. She got exasperated and motioned more peremptorily. I ignored her a little while longer before I finally pulled out and squeezed past, scowling as I did. If I had not had other vehicles behind me, I daresay I would have been inclined to sit there, crowding the van and perhaps even honking my horn a few times until she discerned my moral superiority.

But we superior people take into account the feelings and convenience of others. I mean the folks behind me, not the self-important fool in the van. Oh, but next time—!

1 comment:

Unknown said...

When I see people do that stuff, I mutter, "That must be one of the special people."

Rules don't apply to them.

Also not being a sociopath, I let it go as soon as I can and just thank goodness they're behind me (or far ahead of me, if speeding on the freeway). However, depending on the severity of the crime (or annoyance) I do indulge in a little daydream.