Sunday, January 21, 2007

George Bush in Englishese

What language is this?

According to a recent report by Media Matters, turncoat Clinton advisor Dick Morris has decided to work in concert with the Presidential Coalition to smear Sen. Clinton and thus derail her campaign to return to the White House. What is the Presidential Coalition? Yet another GOP front organization. As noted in the Media Matters post, the Coalition serves up some nice and bland presidential biographies (of Republican chief executives only!). These are so insipid as to skirt discreetly and silently around such tiny matters as Nixon's resignation in disgrace and the notorious corruption of Harding's administration. As for George W. Bush? Here it is in the Presidential Coalition's own words:
George W. Bush followed in his father’s footsteps to Presidency and was elected in 2000. In his first term, Bush made it his duty to advance the works of public schools, beseech accountability, and make local control stronger, and also signed tax assistance, improved betterments and income for the U.S. military, and works hard to ascend Medicare and Social Security. Then, after the September 11th irruptions, he announced war on terrorism, and with that made victory and proceeded individual opportunity and his Administration’s precedence. We look forward to four more years with Bush in the White House, and no one will ever forget “Dubya” or his greatest achievements.
Okay, admit it. You had no idea—did you?—that President Bush “made victory and proceeded individual opportunity.” When you add his support of “improved betterments” and his program to “ascend Medicare,” you have to admit his accomplishments are of rare quality. I hope he will continue to “beseech accountability,” since that has been in short supply in his administration.

On one point there can be no doubt. We all agree with his English-as-a-third-language biographer that no one will ever forget “Dubya”—no matter how hard we try.


Anonymous said...

The following link is kinda unrelated to this particular article, but I think you'll enjoy (!) it for the perspective on science/creation that it presents. Hope you like it:

Jonathan said...

I clicked the link because your transcription seemed unbelievable. Silly me.

Heath said...

I was personally impressed with "Then, after the September 11th irruptions, he announced war on terrorism". I know that after I've had a good irruptions, the first thing I want to do is go to war.

Perhaps this was written by one of the kids in his 4th grade class. Maybe one day, we'll read on the news that he's finally received his GED and is working at the local Jiffy Lube as a technician.

I know how I will be remembering the worst non-popularly elected president in our history, probably now and into perpetuity.