A game the whole family can play
This is a mind game: Imagine, if you will, the state of the world if you were the ultimate arbiter of good taste and success. It's a simple game, inspired by the gobsmacking stupidity of who is famous and what is popular these days. Ready? I'll go first:
Reality television programs? Off the air, each and every one, including Survivor (never watched it) and Nanny 911 (every program is exactly the same; I suspect drugs are used to tame the monster children quickly enough).
Organized sports? Bankrupt (I mean even more than they already are). While this may horrify people, remember that I am the one playing the game this time. You can let the football teams prosper when it's your turn. I, on the other hand, have never in my life been to a professional football game or watched one on television (and I've been to only one pro baseball game, when my father dragged the whole family to the Oakland Coliseum; actually, I was the only one who had to be dragged). ESPN could be used for chess tournaments.
Paris Hilton? Gone already. Remember, I ditched the "reality" stuff first.
Health clubs? Abandoned. I'm not opposed to health, but facilities devoted to sweating and straining are noisome. I'll go for a walk instead. Maybe I'll get a bike, but not a stationary one.
Math and science would become much more popular majors in college. Astrology, creationism, homeopathy, and other frauds would vanish for lack of practitioners and clients. Tarot cards might survive as a party game (although there will probably be a lot fewer parties). I'm a little worried about medicine, since I'm too squeamish to be a doctor yet would sure like to have a few good ones around.
Cultural events would do okay, and movie theaters would survive. However, there'd be dismal sales at the concession stands (I don't like to eat at the movies) and Mel Gibson would probably be out of work (although I did see his Hamlet, so there's hope for him). Peak hours would shift, too, since I usually prefer to see movies in the early afternoon on weekdays because it's not as crowded. (See the flaw here? If I set the standard for public taste, then everyone else will want to crowd into my favorite time slots with me. Damn.)
Alcoholic beverages? Gone. Churches? Shuttered or converted into museums. The Republican Party? Stuffed and mounted for display in those ex-churches. The various Bushes? In the rogues' gallery.
Are we having fun yet?
Yes, it's a game everyone can play, but it has only one winner at a time.