tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15868947.post263984098894719371..comments2023-10-29T06:41:23.910-07:00Comments on Halfway There: The asportual maleZenohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09058127284297728552noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15868947.post-44407705017607606252014-06-22T08:49:26.546-07:002014-06-22T08:49:26.546-07:00I have been unashamedly asportual all my life. Zer...I have been unashamedly asportual all my life. Zero interest in organized sports. While the sports nuts were watching their "ball games"--my generic term for all that nonsense--I was often making love to their wives and girlfriends.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15868947.post-77553769893262483742014-01-16T14:05:14.441-08:002014-01-16T14:05:14.441-08:00growing up as the only asportual male in my entire...growing up as the only asportual male in my entire family, i have a particular hatred for american football because that was the only sport ever viewed by my relatives (male and female alike). ever since i was a youngster i could never, for the life of me, wrap my brain around what was supposed to be so damn entertaining about it. i think that's my main complaint with it, its tediousness. luckily, as an adult, i manage to avoid it altogether.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15868947.post-18033334877821334892009-04-02T21:04:00.000-07:002009-04-02T21:04:00.000-07:00I've never been much for watching or following spo...I've never been much for watching or following sports, but a friend of mine is a professional dilettante, and I was most impressed when she carried a full 15 minute conversation about football. Her mom was a big Redskins fan, but my friend herself never followed sports. She just picked things up in passing in a way only a true dilettante can. I doubt it is a skill I could master being more of a putterer than a dilettante, though I imagine being able to converse on just about any topic could be useful.<BR/><BR/>(I once freaked out a young female substitute teacher who was trying connect with my all male high school English class by asking why sports writers use such colorful metaphor. I told her it was to cover up the basic monotony of the games. My all male high school didn't make a big thing of sports. It was something one did for oneself, like listening to opera or learning Hittite. Our football team even won the city championship, and maybe eleven guys at our school knew about it. On the other hand, I was pleased when the math team's football team trashed the debate team's football team since I did follow our math team's competitions.)Kalebergnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15868947.post-75680190394244783352009-04-02T17:17:00.000-07:002009-04-02T17:17:00.000-07:00thanks. Very nice work...thanks. Very nice work...super mariohttp://www.xn--spermario-q9a.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15868947.post-84028655201096777002009-03-16T14:46:00.000-07:002009-03-16T14:46:00.000-07:00Thanks for sharing your story, Escuerd. You and I ...Thanks for sharing your story, Escuerd. You and I are clearly birds of a feather. I may have had it slightly easier, growing up in California and not in Texas. At least we never had line-ups for signing up for sports. (Even if we had, I'm sure that I would not have found it necessary to get in line just to fit in.)Zenohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09058127284297728552noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15868947.post-9970813400423082882009-03-16T14:40:00.000-07:002009-03-16T14:40:00.000-07:00I know this is over two years old, but this story ...I know this is over two years old, but this story is so similar to mine that I had to comment.<BR/><BR/>I went to a small rural school in Texas, and every year, the first day they'd line up all the people who were signing up for "athletics". I was always the only male who didn't unless one of the others was injured (often something related to sports).<BR/><BR/>Like you, I went to Caltech and made the same assumption you did about what other students would be like. I was also a little surprised and disappointed when, on the shuttle ride to the campus two other students enthusiastically struck up a conversation about sports.<BR/><BR/>That said, I do think there's a lower level of interest in sports among males at Caltech (especially, these days, outside of Fleming and Page) than among the male population in general. I'm still on the low end, though, I'm afraid.<BR/><BR/>From what I've seen of the gay male population, its members <I>are</I> less interested in sports than the straight male population, but the level of interest is still non-zero for most of them. Actually finding anyone else with zero interest in sports is so unusual that I feel a sort of kinship with people who share this trait (or lack the trait that most people share).<BR/><BR/>In retrospect, my social ineptness likely had something to do with why I felt no need to try to "pass".Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15868947.post-82863507343137853482008-12-09T12:37:00.000-08:002008-12-09T12:37:00.000-08:00I am selectively asportual. I watch the Stupid Bo...I am selectively asportual. I watch the Stupid Bowl and the Stanley Cup Finals, sometimes the World Series although I think professional baseball barely qualifies as a sport. The most interesting baseball game I ever say was that playoff game in (Chicago?) with the clouds of gnats.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15868947.post-76998089458044014862008-09-10T19:52:00.000-07:002008-09-10T19:52:00.000-07:00What's wrong with being feminine, anyway?What's wrong with being feminine, anyway?nohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14627365287967466244noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15868947.post-87743641948258238492008-09-08T16:02:00.000-07:002008-09-08T16:02:00.000-07:00This year's superbowl fell on the same date as a r...This year's superbowl fell on the same date as a regular local twice-a-month ballroom dance. I'm happy to report that the women didn't outnumber the men by more than the usual proportion. Apparently some men, asportual or not, prefer dancing a waltz or cha-cha with a woman to "watching sweaty, muscular men jump on top of each other." (Thanks, Azkyroth, for that phrase.)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15868947.post-72801612256240411172008-06-02T10:25:00.000-07:002008-06-02T10:25:00.000-07:00I hope BOTH teams lose.Rāmen, brother!!!As a both ...<I>I hope BOTH teams lose.</I><BR/><BR/>Rāmen, brother!!!<BR/><BR/><I>As a both nerdy and sporty male, and Canadian at that, I have one surefire cure for asportuality:</I><BR/><BR/>"Cure"? Asportuality is not a bug, your majesty. It's a feature.<BR/><BR/><I>tune into the first round of the Stanley Cup playoffs. The level of passion and intensity will win you over even if you have no idea what's going on.</I><BR/><BR/>Hah! If anything, it would freak me out. Mass psychosis, you see.<BR/><BR/><I>the blockquote tag isn't allowed? Someone please tell me this is just a thoughtless oversight...</I><BR/><BR/>It seems to be massive stupidity on the part of Blogger respectively Google. The list "You can use some HTML tags, such as <B><b>, <i>, <a></B>" seems to be exhaustive.<BR/><BR/>I just tried: neither <strike> nor its ScienceBlogsHTML version <s> are allowed.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15868947.post-16157386669750515852007-11-18T21:40:00.000-08:002007-11-18T21:40:00.000-08:00A bit late, apparently, but I can definitely relat...A bit late, apparently, but I can definitely relate to the lack of interest in sports. I don't, offhand, recall the response of certain of my classmates when I pointed out that their hypothesis that my <I>lack of interest</I> in watching sweaty, muscular men jump on top of each other or "chase balls" was a sign of being "gay", but I don't, sadly, think it shut them up. :(<BR/><BR/>Also:<BR/><BR/>"Yeah right sure. I'm a down South red-necked construction worker. Does this look "feminine" to you, pal?"<BR/><BR/>I see what you're saying, but I can also imagine my little girl growing up to work a job that could result in similar photos (especially if trains were involved). ^.^<BR/><BR/>PS: (the blockquote tag isn't allowed? Someone please tell me this is just a thoughtless oversight...)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15868947.post-44971767255648504042007-10-05T15:10:00.000-07:002007-10-05T15:10:00.000-07:00Fortunately I come from a family of asportive male...Fortunately I come from a family of asportive males. What a waste of time. But of course that gives us asportives an edge in that we can use those long afternoons for something productive. <BR/><BR/>I've enjoyed playing sports, and now consider myself a jock, but I can't even get interested in watching the sports that I play. I pretend to watch sports in bars sometimes, but my real interest is the ladies, and the sports is just a cover. Sorry to hear about CalTech, but it is private after all.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15868947.post-79817128889415537332007-09-01T19:36:00.000-07:002007-09-01T19:36:00.000-07:00A little late to this conversation, but....I was 4...A little late to this conversation, but....<BR/><BR/>I was 47 or 48 the first time I saw even snippets of a Super Bowl game. And that only happened because I was in the Navy, I was on watch, and the duties of my watch required me to pass through the lounge where the rest of the duty section was watching the game, at least twice per hour.RM1(SS) (ret)https://www.blogger.com/profile/13101367196599109034noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15868947.post-41085985802771646342007-03-01T17:01:00.000-08:002007-03-01T17:01:00.000-08:00Super Bowl ? I thought that was how my fave restar...Super Bowl ? I thought that was how my fave restaraunt advertised there famous large crock of French onion soup....No???<BR/>Call me Asportual???raunchpuphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07367754560098146642noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15868947.post-57160913812649788032007-02-05T12:32:00.000-08:002007-02-05T12:32:00.000-08:00As a both nerdy and sporty male, and Canadian at t...As a both nerdy and sporty male, and Canadian at that, I have one surefire cure for asportuality: tune into the first round of the Stanley Cup playoffs. The level of passion and intensity will win you over even if you have no idea what's going on.King Aardvarkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02785457928646226831noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15868947.post-54195740039820183452007-02-05T09:38:00.000-08:002007-02-05T09:38:00.000-08:00I am the only person who attended Florida State Un...I am the only person who attended Florida State University for 5 years and never attended a football game. (People react in shock and horror when you tell them that.)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15868947.post-91874680582314104502007-02-04T20:00:00.000-08:002007-02-04T20:00:00.000-08:00Not every American man needs to be fanatical, but ...<I>Not every American man needs to be fanatical, but if you're watching “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” on a day classically known as one of the biggest sports days of the year, you're wandering into feminine territory.</I><br /><br />Yeah right sure. I'm a down South red-necked construction worker. <A HREF="http://uncharted.org/frownland/pix/wdk_work.jpg">Does this look "feminine" to you, pal?</A><br /><br />Unlike the fortunate Mr. Cole, I was aware that the Stupid Bowl was this weekend. I know which two gangs of tight-pantsed steroid freaks were going to bash heads. I even know the name of one team's quarterback. (Which team he's quarterback of, I'm not sure though.) Why? Because those GOD DAMN SONS OF BITCHES that I WORK WITH haven't been able to SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT THAT MORONIC GAME for FIVE GOD DAMN MINUTES IN A ROW at any time in THE LAST TWO WEEKS.<br /><br />And before that, they couldn't stop talking about the championship game between Ohio State and the U. of F., which my daughter attends. And how revoltingly insufferable they were when the "Gators" managed to win that game! The worst of it, I think, was how they kept saying things like "<I>We</I> intercepted that pass" or "<I>We</I> sacked the quarterback." "<I>We</I>" didn't do <I>anything,</I> you maroons; the tight-pantsed steroid freaks intercepted the pass, and you sat on your ass, watched, belched and drooled.<br /><br />How happy I will be when this rubbish is finally over and done for the year! I hope BOTH teams lose.johnny phenothiazinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01128994712643274580noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15868947.post-69633443062317438272007-02-04T18:17:00.000-08:002007-02-04T18:17:00.000-08:00I only know the names of the teams competing becau...I only know the names of the teams competing because I saw them written on baked goods while buying maple bars for breakfast.John McKayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08687505203164692983noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15868947.post-29841767983338533042007-02-04T09:54:00.000-08:002007-02-04T09:54:00.000-08:00I grew up in Alabama, and I don't know the rules o...I grew up in Alabama, and I don't know the rules of American football. This may be my greatest claim to uniqueness within the human species. (I was apparently the first person to say the phrase "cyberpunk tentacle porn" on the Internet, but I have the feeling that the Japanese equivalent was already out there, somewhere, so that doesn't really count.) Thanks to various movies and comic strips, I have a vague grasp of the most basic rules of baseball, but I'm not sure I could follow a game and understand what's going on. Frankly, I don't care — unless Boston is about to break out in a riot, at which point I'll pay attention and enjoy myself.Blake Staceyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13977394981287067289noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15868947.post-41625747603527087102007-02-04T02:39:00.000-08:002007-02-04T02:39:00.000-08:00I am an American male. I am asportual and proud o...I am an American male. I am asportual and proud of it.<br /><br />I had no idea the superbowl was this weekend until you mentioned it. It's good to see that great minds think (or don't think) alike.<br /><br />I happen to know that the last "super" bowl involved Seattle somehow because of this asportually inclined Penny-Arcade strip: <br /><a href="http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2006/02/08">http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2006/02/08</a><br /><br />So it would seem that we asportuals aren't alone.<br /><br />Thank you for the heartwarming post.Terrence Colehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10721299642747972894noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15868947.post-87790332573782760322007-02-04T00:40:00.000-08:002007-02-04T00:40:00.000-08:00Good post. I join you as an asportual male.
You ...Good post. I join you as an asportual male.<br /><br />You are not describing just <I>American</I> males. The same applies in Spain or Italy, for instance, where sports = soccer, to make it worse.<br /><br />Moebius Stripper told me about a game in which the last person to learn who won the Super Bowl this year wins. I remain invincible, as I don't know yet the result of any year's Super Bowl.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com